


1000 mg

by WrathoftheStag (Mwuahna)



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: A comedy of errors, Hannibal Loves Will, Hannibal is a Cannibal, Hannibal's wiener!, Hannigram season 1 au, Idiots in Love, M/M, Team Sassy Science 5ever, Will Loves Hannibal, Will is impressed, hannigram AU, oh what tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive, the start of it all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-09 01:05:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7780969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mwuahna/pseuds/WrathoftheStag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hannibal decides to host the BAU Holiday Party, with ulterior motives.  The joke's on him however, when things don't go quite his way.  AKA, where Will finally gets an inkling that he may have some feelings for Hannibal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1000 mg

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Devereauxs_Disease](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devereauxs_Disease/gifts).



> Part of the Tumblr [Ridiculous Prompt List](http://wrathofthestag.tumblr.com/post/148985334444/ridiculous-sentence-prompts). 
> 
> The prompt was: “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“
> 
> I wrote this in the car, on a road trip home -- so I can't say for certain there aren't a few typos. I promise I'll fix them when I get home. 
> 
> (221 miles to go!)

No one was more surprised than Will Graham that Doctor Hannibal Lecter had agreed to host the BAU holiday staff party. Jack Crawford had casually mentioned it to Hannibal as they were walking through the grounds of Quantico on their way to lunch.

“You are a well connected person, do you happen to know of any place that might still have room for a holiday party?”

“Off the top of my head, I do not,” Hannibal replied.

“The place we usually reserve was already booked. We waited too long to call, and now everything else is taken,” Jack said.

Hannibal thought for a moment, his face deep in concentration, and then he was struck with a fabulous solution that would be quite advantageous to him as well.

“I would be happy to offer my home, Jack.”

“Oh, I couldn’t impose,” Jack said.

“No, I insist. I would love to have everyone for dinner.”

“Really? That’s so generous of you, Hannibal. I’ll call my assistant and have him contact you with the details.”

Hannibal smiled looking forward to an entire evening of Will Graham in his home, and what opportunities that might afford.

**+++**

“So what’s his house like?” Beverly asked as she made a right turn.

“We’re about three blocks away,” Will said. “It’s fine. You know…it’s just a house.”

“Riiight,” Beverly responded as she smiled at Will and then added, “Nice flowers.”

Will blushed as he looked at the bouquet currently sitting on his lap. “It’s just a thank you for hosting. I'm really surprised he offered.”

Bev turned and gave a quick wink to Price and Zee who sat in the back seat.

“I bet his house looks like it was decorated by Bob Guccione,” Jimmy piped in.

“Who’s that?” Zeller asked.

Price looked at him, “Do you know anything about anything, you infant?”

Zeller shrugged, “Sorry if I don’t know every fashion designer out there.”

Jimmy looked at Zeller with complete disappointment. “Why do I even bother with you?”

Beverly and Will laughed.

The GPS interrupted the laughter as it announced, “Your destination is on the right.”

“Holy fuck,” Zeller said as a valet opened his door. “This is a mansion.”

The four got out of the car and approached the house, and all that was missing was the movie slow motion walking music as they headed to the front door.

**+++**

Hannibal spoke to the waitstaff before the arrival of the first guest.

“Now there will be one guest that is expected to make a speech this evening, but he is very nervous and shy about it. What I would like is for all of you to make sure his drink is consistently filled – that way he can be relaxed and at ease by the time his big moment comes. Is that understood?”

One of the waiters raised his hand, “How will we know who it is?”

“Ah, yes! Of course, he’ll be a man with glasses and dark curly hair. You’ll be able to recognize him by the near constant scowl on his face. So remember, drink full at all times.”

**+++**

“Thank you for hosting, Dr. Lecter,” Jack said as he enjoyed the canapés being passed. “Mmm, just stay here for a moment,” he said to the waiter as he ate a few more.

“It’s my pleasure to be able to help a friend out, and welcome guests to my home. I always enjoy hosting a gathering – especially for a group of people as fine as these.”

Will and Team Sassy Science entered the room (with Zeller not-so-subtly whistling upon seeing the interior of the house), and Hannibal immediately walked over to greet them.

“Ms. Katz, Brian, and Jimmy – pleasure to see you,” he said, and then Hannibal looked at Will and smiled. Will felt the eyes of Beverly, Brian, and Jimmy on him as he shoved the flowers toward Hannibal and said, “These are for you – as a thank you for hosting.”

Hannibal nodded slightly, “Thank you, Will,” and then immediately sneezed – once, twice.

Will jumped back slightly.

“Apologies. Thank you for the flowers,” Hannibal said. Another sneeze.

“Are you allergic?” Beverly asked.

“I didn’t think I was sensitive to any flora, but apparently,” another sneeze, “I was mistaken.”

Will was mortified. “Oh, jeez. I’m sorry.”

“Nonsense,” Hannibal said. “I’ll just take these to the kitchen. Thank you, Will.” Another sneeze.

Hannibal exited quickly.

Instantly a waiter came and handed Will a glass of wine, “Here you go, sir.”

“Oh…okay. Thank you,” Will said as he took the drink that was practically forced on him.

**+++**

Hannibal had been missing for a good 15 minutes, and Will stood in one corner next to the ficus, with what seemed to be his third glass of wine.

“More wine, sir?” a waiter asked.

“No, I still have this one,” he surly responded showing them his glass.

Beverly walked up to Will, “So, is that houseplant going to be your date for the rest of the evening?"

“I think I may have induced an allergic coma in our host,” Will responded.

“I’m sure he’s fine. Just getting stuff together in the kitchen. So…” she said with a smile, “What’s going on with you two?”

“What do you mean?” Will said, as another waiter strolled by.

“More wi—”

“NO, thank you,” Will replied and then frowned, “Nothing. Nothing is going on. I don’t even know what that question is supposed to mean.”

“Right. Okay. Don’t mind me then,” she said and then took a sip of her beer. “Oh!”

“Oh what?” Will replied.

Beverly dug around in her purse, “Here!”

She handed Will a tiny foil with two pills in it.

“What’s this?”

“Some Claritin. Go offer it to Doctor Lecter, you can be his hero,” she said with a smile.

“Bev…”

“No, really. Here. You’ll show up and save the day,” she said looking smugly satisfied with herself.

Will shrugged, “Well, I did bring the flowers.” He took the pills and headed toward the kitchen.

“Would you care for another glass of wine?”

“What?” Will said as he stared at the waiter.

**+++**

Will went into the kitchen and asked one of the chefs working if they knew where Hannibal had gone, and they pointed him in the direction of the powder room.

Will walked over and knocked, “Doctor Lecter?”

He could hear Hannibal blowing his nose, and he then opened the door slowly.

“Will, did you need something? A glass of wine maybe?” Hannibal said with red eyes.

“Oh no, look at you. I’m sorry…I didn’t think –“

Hannibal held up his hand and said, “Nonsense. You were just being a gracious guest.”

“Well, anyway, I brought you this.” He handed the pack of pills to Hannibal. “It’s some allergy pills.”

“Thank you. It’s very considerate of you.” Hannibal said as he popped out the pills and chased them down with some water from the sink.

Will smiled and said, “Well, I’ll see you back there.”

“Indeed,” Hannibal replied.

**+++**

Hannibal was still a bit sneezy afterward but jumped right into the role of host. He shared charming anecdotes, described how he went about choosing the menu for the evening, had a drink with Zeller, another with Beverly, yet another with Bella, and then made sure Will had one – or two – as well.

“Are you enjoying yourself, Will?”

Will smiled, and said, “Yes, actually the evening isn’t that terrible.”

Hannibal laughed and said, “Well, isn’t that charming and not at all insulting.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean it like that,” Will said quickly, trying to back peddle.

Hannibal swayed for a second, and then shook his head.

“Are you okay, Doctor Lecter?”

He furrowed his brow and said, “Oh…yes, sorry. I felt a bit queasy for a moment there. It passed.” And then he just walked away, mid-conversation with Will.

“Uh…talk to you later, I guess?” Will said to himself.

**+++**

“And of course, I’d like Doctor Lecter to say a few words as our host for the evening,” Jack said holding up his wine glass.

Hannibal was sitting on a chair next to Jack and had the goofiest smile on his face. He jumped up and said, “Certainly!” He then walked over to Jack and rubbed Jack’s head. Jack looked at him with confusion.

“Is e’rryone havin’ a good time?!” Hannibal said and then twirled once.

The entire room stared at him silently.

Hannibal laughed and waved his hand, “Hello, Will!”

Will looked at Hannibal, with eyebrow raised, then at Beverly.

Price whispered, “Is he high?”

Hannibal continued, “Chrishmas…a time to reflect, to ponderrrr…are you on the naughty list or nice list? Will! Have you been naughty?!”

Zeller burst out laughing, “Dude is HAMMERED!”

Beverly’s eyes suddenly grew wide, and she dug around her purse. “Oh my god! Will!” she whispered.

Hannibal was suddenly leaning against Jack, who jumped into action to hold him up.

“Holy fucking shit, Will! I accidentally gave you muscle relaxants instead of the allergy pills.”

Will looked at Bev, “You what?”

They both looked at each other, then at Hannibal, then back at each other.

“Why do you have muscle relaxants?” Will asked angrily.

“Okay, actually…they’re Xantrall – from when I got my wisdom teeth pulled two months ago. SORRY! I NEVER CLEAN OUT MY PURSE, OKAY?”

Zeller then howled, “He’s sooo gone!”

Everyone in the room began to murmur, as Jack sat Hannibal on the chair.

“Christ, Beverly!” Will said as he knelt next to Hannibal and took one of his hands, slapping it gently. “Hannibal? Are you okay?”

Beverly stood behind Will whispering, “I’m sorry!” as Zee continued laughing, and Price took a picture with his cell phone.

Jack asked, “Well, how many did he take?”

“Two. I gave him two,” Will said.

Beverly squeaked out, “They were 500 mg each.”

Everyone turned to glare at her.

Jack couldn’t help but smirk, “And he’s been throwing back the wine like there’s no tomorrow.”

Zeller approached, and said, “Step aside everyone. This is my area of expertise.” He then knelt down and gently slapped Hannibal’s face. Will pulled him away, “All right. That’s enough, Zeller.”

Beverly hit him on the head with her bag, and Zeller shrugged, “What?!”

Hannibal sleepily looked at Will with a silly smile on his face, “You have the loveliest eyes.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Jack muttered under his breath. “Okay, everyone. Party is over. Ms. Katz, thank you for that.”

Beverly hid behind Jimmy, mouthing, “Sorry.”

Will looked at Jack and said, “I’ll stay with him. I’ll get him to bed.”

Jack nodded, and Bella looked at Will and said, “Do you need any help, Will?”

Will turned to look back at Hannibal who was currently conked out, head back, mouth open.

“No, I’ve got it. Thanks.”

**+++**

Once the caterers and waitstaff had left, Will walked through the house and made sure all the doors were locked and lights were off. He had called Tommy, the teen who lived down the road, and asked him to walk the dogs.

Will pondered how he had found himself in this situation, with Hannibal Lecter currently curled up in ball on the couch.

“Okay, so…how do I get you up to your bed?”

Will looked at Hannibal and then up the long flight of stairs leading to the second floor. He sighed as he began to put his arms around Hannibal, lifting him up.

“Yep, of course you would weigh like a ton of bricks,” he said with a grunt as he began to drag him upstairs.

Hannibal jolted awake slightly, “I’m _firsty_.”

Will laughed, in between huffs, “Firsty, are you?”

“Mmm-hmmm…water.”

“Okay, big guy. Jesus, you’re heavy! Let’s take you upstairs and then I’ll get you some water. Sounds good?”

Hannibal stumbled forward slightly, “Yesssss, Willie.”

Will snorted, “Sounds good, Hanni.”

**+++**

By the time Will managed to plop Hannibal onto his bed, he was exhausted.

“God, remind me never to get in a fight with you. You’d beat the shit out of me,” Will said to Hannibal.

Hannibal muttered a barely audible, “Never.”

Will laughed, “Well, that’s good to know. You still want some water?”

Hannibal shook his head and said, “Yah…”

“All right then, I’ll be back.”

“Will?” Hannibal said, as he looked up briefly and said, “I like you so mush. Cutie.” He then plunked his head onto the pillow.

Will wasn’t sure quite what to make of that. So he just replied, “I like you, too.”

Hannibal weakly waved an arm and said, “Noooo…you don’t comprehend. I _like_ you. I just want to cut you up into little pieces and eat! You! Up!” He then took his hand to his mouth and made gobble noises.

Will frowned and said, “Okay, that’s creepy…and kind of sweet. I’ll be back with your water.”

By the time Will came back, Hannibal had somehow managed to tuck himself in. He wore his shirt, and had the blankets pulled up to his chest.

Will sat at the edge of the bed, and looked at Hannibal sleep for a moment, lulled into Hannibal’s rhythmic breathing pattern, and then felt himself get sleepy, eyelids feeling as heavy as Hannibal was being carried up the stairs.

Will shook his head, and drowsily got up. He pulled up Hannibal’s sheets to this shoulders, and then Will had the impulse to tuck Hannibal’s hair behind his ear. He wasn’t sure why, exactly. But he did…so he did.

He then whispered, “Good night, Hannibal,” and got up to walk downstairs to sleep on the couch.

**+++**

If Hannibal ever contemplated what it felt like to have his head inside the Liberty Bell while someone struck it, he would have to wonder no more. The pounding in his head when he opened his eyes was certainly the worse headache he had ever experienced.

He sat up slowly, and wondered how he had gotten there, what the hell had happened, and where everyone was.

The first thing he did was check his hands. No blood. That was a good sign – or was it? He wasn’t quite sure just yet.

His mouth felt as arid as the Sahara. He licked his lips and noticed a glass of water on the nightstand. Not knowing where it came from or who brought it for him, he chose not to drink it. There was no way of knowing if he’d been drugged, and if said drug was in that glass.

The last thing he remembered was Will Graham’s face. Having a drink with him…and he had all of the BAU in his house. What the hell happened? He began walking downstairs, and awkwardly slammed into the bedroom wall.

Hannibal finally made his way to the kitchen, and to say he was surprised to find Will sitting there drinking a cup of coffee was an understatement.

“Will? What are you doing here? What happened?”

Will looked at Hannibal, and almost did a spit take as he laughed, “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.”

Hannibal looked down and realized he was wearing a shirt – and nothing else. “ _Dieve mano_!” Hannibal yelled as he ran behind the counter and grabbed an apron. Will was laughing so hard, he could hardly breathe – face turning bright red.

**+++**

About 30 minutes, a cup of strong coffee, and a hot shower later, Hannibal sat in his kitchen wearing a red sweater and some red striped pajama pants.

“1000 mg of Xantrall and several glasses of wine…yes, that will do it,” Hannibal said holding his mug of coffee close to his chest, as he sat next to Will.

“If it’s any consolation, Beverly feels awful. She’s sent me a million texts already this morning asking if you were okay.”

“Well I’ve certainly been in worse situations. You can tell her I’m fine.” Hannibal took a small sip of his coffee. “And you stayed?”

“Yes, I mean…I couldn’t just leave you alone,” Will said softly staring into his cup.

“Why?” Hannibal asked.

Will looked up and noticed Hannibal’s eyes sparkled and looked positively doe-eyed at that moment. Most definitely a side effect of the drugs, Will assured himself.

“Because, I care about…your well being,” Will said looking into Hannibal’s eyes. Will suddenly felt a rush of heat across his face and then loudly said, “And because I felt partially responsible. Mainly that, you see.”

“Ah, yes,” Hannibal said smiling softly.

“Well, I should get going. My cab should be outside soon," Will said standing up. “That way you can recuperate without me in your hair.”

“Of course. Thank you, once again, Will. And I apologize for my indiscretion earlier. I am fully embarrassed.”

Will shrugged and pushed his chair in. “Don’t worry about it. So, I’ll see you Tuesday, 7:30?”

Hannibal nodded, as Will waved and began to walk out of the kitchen. He then popped his head in and said, “Oh, and Hannibal – trust me. You have _nothing_ to be embarrassed about,” then quickly left.

Hannibal sat there, and quirked his head. _Wait, did Will mean…what exactly did Will mean?_

A smile spread slowly to Hannibal’s face, and he took another sip of coffee.

**Author's Note:**

> Dieve mano = Jesus Christ in Lithuanian
> 
> I totally made up Xantrall, but let's just say that it's real.
> 
> Come say hi and visit me [on Tumblr](http://wrathofthestag.tumblr.com/).


End file.
